I don’t know what the guys and girls at Tesla were smoking when they came up with the Model X, but it had to be pretty potent, as nothing about this car makes any sense. Come on… a massive two-tonne, seven-family van that can outrun some supecars? Powered by batteries? That drives itself? Imagine a young designer suggesting that to the board at a company like Mercedes. He’d be fired on the spot.
Look at it. It’s the size of the shed, yet the P100D model will polish off 0-60mph in 2.9 seconds and it’ll complete this ludicrous without so much as chirping a tyre. It mercilessly rams torque at all four wheels, riding a surge so vicious that few cars outside of the most exotic of exotica can keep up.
The speed isn’t bonkers in itself, of course, fast cars are 10 a penny. What’s bonkers is the fact that Model X delivers this speed while your wife, four children, your luggage and a dog are onboard.
Other party tricks? Well, it also drives itself, Sort of. While other manufacturers are dipping their toes into the water with lane-keep assist, or “umming and ahhing” about “legislation this”, and “insurance liability that”, Tesla’s said “sod it all” and built a car that will whisk you hands-free up the M1. This is a car people can actually buy. Today. And it’s doing this in the year 2016, not 2042.
They could have stopped there, to be frank, but they didn’t. They’ve given the Model X the tools to fetch itself from parking spaces. The falcon-wing doors open up like the Karate Kid preparing to unleash a crane kick, and the driver door opens itself as you approach, closing itself once you’ve sat down. Why? Absolutely no idea. Our best guess is that they chuffing well could, so they chuffing well did.
Then there’s the cabin technology. You can imagine rival car designers pondering how big an infotainment screen they should fit to their next facelifted estate. Six inches? Nine-point-three maybe? Meanwhile, over at Tesla they’re busy wiring in a 17-incher. Vertically. Utter madness.
Yeah, the Model X makes no sense. It shouldn’t exist. Someone should have shot this idea down long before it reached the, production line. And yet it’s here, throwing caution to the wind, not giving a damn about established norms. There really is nothing else like it.